因为你让生命感动

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Life back in tassie has been draining to say the least. having no place to stay and squeezing in a house filled with 10 people is not my idea of fun. whatever dreams and illusions I had of everyone being one big happy “family” have been entirely and thoroughly washed down the drain. things change I know, but I never expected this time round to be so different. tension in the house, new classes to go to, the stress of having to find a house as soon as possible, people being b****y… Lord, please give me the strength to carry on. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

It’s time to be a big girl now, to finish this last lap of the race well, to not whine and complain about little stuff, to learn to continue to trust God to provide, but I can feel myself faltering, too tired to even push myself that little bit more.

Ever since I was a child, I always wanted to go overseas, to explore the world that others claimed was wonderful, full of opportunities and perfect in most ways. Bit by bit, I can see my ideal life being chipped away. With every disappointment I face, with each hurdle I’m forced to cross, the promise I made to myself that this sem would be a better one seems to be growing more futile.

I really don’t want to be like that, to be bitter and jaded when I should be having the best time of my life. My final sem of uni, it should be a worthwhile and memorable one. And so, in the end it all boils back down to my Father above. To quote ny,

“O God,

i pray that You'd..

be the strength that i need
be the courage that i lack
be the faith that i do not have
be the things that i cannot be
because without You i am nothing
and only with You i can be”

[` tomorrow will be a better day =) ]

{♥} wash away the miles between us

at 9:18 pm

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Comment on this entry, and I will:

1. Tell you why I made friends with you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, a word etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
7. In return, you must post this in your LJ/blogspot/xanga.

in reply to you, ana:

1. i can't really recall WHY but yeah, i think we started off being friends in pri 3. haha but i do know you weren't exactly very nice to me at the start. you and ezila were mean!! hahaha. i remember this one time when we were walking out of the hall after assembly and we were carrying our schoolbags. my skirt accidentally got swept up along with the bag (in the process, almost flashing myself) and ezie & you saw it but you 2 didn't tell me and actually giggled about it. meanie-poo! =p

2. chinese guys

3. the fact that you're always willing to listen to me whine and yet not judge me. the way you share in my joy so completely and the wonderful cards/letters that you always write. the love you give into our friendship and how every conversation/meeting we have is so fun and enjoyable. <3

4. unfortunately, i can't remember the chinese girls drama we had, care to refresh my memory? and i do agree, we have too many memories la. hmm, let's see. repeatedly singing 'puji dan syukur pada ilahi' at the tuition centre, tomato twisties and coloured long lines of highlighted letters.

5. what was the whole reason you opted out of gtb? haha. oh and also, how come in the many many years of our friendship, i've never been to your house once? =p [and in answer to your question, nah, i didn't really mind the gtb thing, i was just really confused (and still am!) as to why you left gtb in the 1st place, heh.]

6. can i nil this too since i don't really pay attention to it? haha.

{♥} wash away the miles between us

at 8:10 pm

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

i. absolutely. dislike. change.

i think i am one of those people who find it hard to adapt to change. take me out of my comfort zone, put me next to people i don't know, and i withdraw most of the time. i'll just blank out and make eye contact with you once in awhile and i'm pretty sure most people find me rude. oh wells. i'm a really shy girl at heart. did you know that?

time is ticking away again. sigh. i can't say that i dislike tassie but to have to leave after enjoying myself with familiar people and surroundings is just pure torture. and this is especially so after chinese new year. after the hustle & bustle of preparing for new year, the spending of time just laughing and relaxing with the other extended family members, the yearly ah kong's birthday dinner, the 3rd day lunch at lim tian puan, the endless pictures, the angpows... i could go on for ages. it just makes it even more difficult knowing that when the 24th comes, i'll be sitting on the airplane alone, back to a place without my family and my favourite things for the next 6 months.

i just want to bring my extended family and friends wherever i go. is that so impossible? :(

after all the moving from singapore to kl, kl to tassie, you would think i should know better than to get upset over separation. but whoever said it would be easy? sigh. =(

{♥} wash away the miles between us

at 10:55 am