因为你让生命感动

Thursday, October 26, 2006

i'm about an hr away from turning 19 and i muz say,dis year feels reali different from the last.

new friends have come,experiences have changed and feelings,oh well,so many.good,bad,everything.

i don't know,last yr's birthday was memorable for me because so many ppl celebrated with me.close friends,classmates,family members.and lovely people sent greetings from wherever they were.australia,usa,etc etc.

but dis year,hmmm.it's on a holiday so i guess there'll be less people with me.relatives have all gone on holiday but at least my whole family's with me.friends have offered to celebrate but i gotta go melaka for a break so nope,cannot.

it feels weird this time round.i feel like i've been through so much and yet when i look at my age,i'm only just 19.it's like omg,2 more yrs till i'm 21?not that i'm in a hurry to grow up and all,but it's just weird hanging out with friends and then realising you're much younger than them.ha,that's prob why i feel old.nah,i guess when things combine and come at one shot,and you finally deal with them,when you look back,it's like,wow i've grown so much older in terms of thinking and feelings.

i miss the old UTAS March 2005 intake ppl.classes just feel weird without them.hanging out with them was a blast and now that we can no longer do it so often,it's then we realise how much fun we actually had the past year.i used to see krystle everday aprt from fridays and we could almost celebrate our birthdays together but this past few months,i've seen her prob lyk a few times only?it sucks.i don't like this feeling.but oh wells,absolute was fun!it's funny to see everyone tipsy and not admitting it.if only there were more of these times...

and you.sigh.i dunno,my head's damn messed up already.izit or izit not?should i or should i not?i feel so excited and happy one moment,depressed and confused the next.is this the way it should be?it's so tough and despite the way i feel,i'm starting to think it might not work out aniwae.but you're the only one i give in to after a dispute.now what does it mean?hmmm.

and it's starting to dawn on me now that if all goes well,in about a yr's time,i'll be heading fro tasmania already.i'm kinda excited about it but at the same time i'm seriously dreading it.it's gonna feel so weird to not be staying in the same house and sharing the same room as Jean anymore.we were just discussing it the other day and got depressed thinking about it.it kinda makes my day knowing that everytime i come home,i can share the going-ons in my life at school that day and knowing that there won't be a judging on how bitchy i am.or that there's someone to put up with my cuckooness and laugh with me over ridiculous or bimbo stuff we've encountered respectively.despite the 5 yr gap in our ages,i've never felt like i was talking to a small kid.i guess she just understands me well.and sings spastic songs with me.haha.so love.

i miss joelle too.if only malaysia and australia weren't so far away.like a half-hour train ride or something.last time in spore,even travelling to tampines was lyk omg,soo far,lazy la.but if i can do it all over again now,i'll gladly make the train/bus ride many many times over.but since we can't,we'll just have to make do with letters,emails and msn.sigh.but i kinda know how you're feeling girl.it's ok,just think thru things and if there's still no future then let go.i want you to be happy too.miss ya girl.

oh wells,so many things in life has come and gone.some people have stayed.old friendships have been renewed and some have lapsed.close bonds were made closer and i must admit,there's nothing much i can complain about despite everything.God has been good to me.and i pray that the year ahead will be a blessed one for me.that i'll make it through and look back and say i've come a long way since then.

but for now,it's enough knowing that i've got people who love and care for me.and that my Father above is watching over me.and that for the moment at least,i've got something to look forward to. you.

{♥} wash away the miles between us

at 2:06 am